The Life of a Wisconsin Man and a California Girl...

Monday, February 20, 2012

A new home for the blog...at least for now!

Hi there all,

Its taken us a little time, but for now, we're moving the blog to our own website: http://www.welzonline.com/ . We found a word press format that works really nicely, and although I can't guarantee the content will always be adoption related, it will be about our crazy life! I'm always around if anyone wants to ask questions! Come check it out!

Lanie

Tuesday, October 18, 2011

Wow - 6 months already!

How can you already be 6 MONTHS OLD?!? It’s hard to believe that 6 months ago you were born, so tiny. I will never forget the first time I heard you cry. That perfect cry calmed me. It made me cry and I couldn’t stop smiling. Six months later, I can’t say that your cry always brings a smile to my face, but just about everything else does. And sometimes I still cry at the overwhelming joy you bring to my heart. You are such a blessing. Your life continues to help restore my soul. I am awe struck by the power of the love I have for you and find the gift of motherhood to be the most extraordinary journey and the most beautiful testament to God’s love for me.

I could go on and on about how precious and perfect you are and how much I love you, but I’ll refrain and get to the fun stuff. Here’s what you’re up to at the halfway point to one year!

At 6 months, you are:

LAUGHING!

You laughed for the first time a month ago. You have the sweetest, most contagious little laugh and I can’t get enough! It cracks me up because you kind of throw your head back when you get going. Sometimes it sounds a little forced, but when that full on giggle comes out you can really ham it up. I also love it when you’re torn between laughing and crying. If you’re getting sleepy or hungry and Daddy tries to make you laugh, you go in and out of a little chuckle and a little whine…so funny.

BLOWING RASPBERRIES!

If you weren’t getting soaked enough with your constant spitting up, now you’re getting soaked with spit and drool. (By the way am I the only person who didn’t know it was called blowing raspberries? I guess it’s a nicer phrase than spitting.) You love to kick and play on your back while you spit/blow raspberries. You think you’re pretty cute doing it too…and you are of course!!!

ROLLING FROM YOUR BACK TO YOUR TUMMY!

A few weeks ago while playing on the floor, you kept turning onto your side and then all the sudden you just flipped right over. Watching you fling those hips over and roll is just about the cutest thing ever. Once you get on your tummy, you stretch up pretty far, play for a few minutes, and then fuss because you want to change positions.

SITTING!

IF we sit you up, you can get the hang of this whole sitting thing you can play for an hour just sitting up. You haven’t figured out how to sit back up if you lay down, but I think with a little more time and practice you’ll get it in no time. When you’re tired, you lean over quite a bit and brace yourself with your hands on your legs. You really like sitting up!

NOT SLEEPING SO GREAT!

Although you had been a pretty great sleeper from the start where you only woke up once most nights something has happened these last few weeks. We are attempting to get you used to a bedtime routine. We aim to start our bedtime routine between 7:00 and 7:30 every night. We get our jammies on, try to read/chew a book, and then Mama feeds you. When I put you down, we turn on your music to some modern lullabies including U2, and the Rolling Stones. You typically wake up between 6:00 and 6:30 every morning. You take 2 naps a day. You usually sleep half an hour to an hour in the AM and an hour in the afternoon.

EATING GREAT!

You are still a great eater. You are exclusively formula fed and never miss a meal! You eat every 3-4 hours, on average 6 times a day. Our doctor wanted us to start you on cereal at 4 months, and now you’re eating sweet potatoes, carrots, squash, and next week, we’re trying peas.

STILL SPITTING UP ALL THE TIME

Mama sure is hoping this spitting up thing is almost over. It still doesn’t seem to bother you, but between the times you eat and the time you go down for your nap, you spit up constantly. It helps if you stay sitting up for a while after eating before playing on the floor, but you usually spit up while you’re on your tummy and when you get picked up after laying down. You and mama usually get soaked and have to change several times a day. Here’s to hoping eating cereal and more solids will help keep us dry!

You LIKE:

Going for walks
Playing on your blanket on the floor
Talking/laughing in your car seat
Chillin with Mama in your baby carrier
Playing in your bouncy seat
Looking in the mirror
Watching mom and dad talk to/sing to you in the mirror
Watching/playing with Vinny!!!
“Jumping around” with Daddy
Bath time

You DON”T LIKE:

The bright sun in your eyes
Lots of people in your face at once
Waking up and not seeing Mama right away.
When can’t get back to a seated position on your own
Taking a break from eating to get burped

Your FAVORITE toys:

Your Baby Einstein saucer. You love the music and colorful lights. Mama used to push the toys for you, but now you play all by yourself!
The bright cat toy your Daddy won for you.
The fun, colorful camera toy from fisher price. It’s easy for you to hold onto and get in your mouth.

Your FAVORITE books:

The Disney Story Book
First Words
On The Night You Were Born
Baby’s First Colors
Hello Bee, Hello Me…your eyes get so big when we turn to the mirrored pages

Your FAVORITE songs:

If you’re happy and you know it
Patty Cake
I’m a little tea pot
ABC song
You are my sunshine
Jesus loves me

This didn’t really fit in any of the categories, but you have the BEST, most adorable sad face I’ve ever seen. I hate to see you upset, but sometimes I can’t help but smile and even chuckle at that pitiful face. You start with sticking out that cute bottom lip and then your whole face just melts. You cry crocodile tears, which momma hates. The good thing is you are easily consoled and turn that frown upside down pretty quick!

We are so proud of you!!! I LOVE you SO much Peter!!!!! You are such an easy-going, happy baby!!!

Can I be the 'me' I want to be?

You know, the picture perfect woman…a great Mom, a great wife, a woman finds time to make perfect meals for her family, who finds time to not only to curl up with a good book, spend time with her music, but also finds time to get in a decent workout and lose weight…

I’m hoping that I will, but it’s going to take work to get there. I honestly believe that when you flourish at one thing, you can become more of the “you” that you want to be. I think by being good at one thing, you become more that person God had in mind when God thought you up.

I guess for all of us, there may be those parts we wish were different. I am the first to admit that I’m quiet around strangers as I’m not sure of myself, I am a horrible fidgeter, and multi-task to much when I should be just focused on one thing. These things are just parts of who I am.

Maybe focusing on that one thing will make me better in other aspects of life. I hope so. I’m great at only one thing right now – being Peter’s Mom. I hope that because I’m flourishing there, the rest of it will fall into place eventually!

Saturday, October 15, 2011

Precious moments!

I just thought I would share my boys with you this morning. I love them so much!

Let's hope that today is filled with more precious moments for all of us!

Dan's going to kill me when he finds out I posted this picture of him sleeping! :-D

Thursday, September 29, 2011

The life in your years...

It's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years. ~Abraham Lincoln

I mentioned in May that I might eventually be at a place where I can share with you the eulogy I gave for my Dad earlier this year. I still miss Dad every day, and wish that he could have won his battle against cancer. Instead, I am finally accepting that God needed him in Heaven more than we all needed him on earth. I hope you will tell the ones you love how you feel about them as frequently as possible so they will always understand your love for them. Most people don't take the opportunity...hope you do.

Dad's Eulogy

Yesterday, I sat in my father's office in the home he shared with my Mum for the last 25 years attempting to write this eulogy. I started and stopped many times. I started again, trying to find the words to describe how it feels to be here without him because I still don't know.

You see, I had a father for 33 years and have only not had a father for 7 days, so I will try to express to you what kind of man my father was. Indeed, this trying -- this effort to accomplish the seemingly impossible -- is one of the many gifts I've received from my father...

He was the most tenacious person I knew. Ferocious, focused, and fueled by a need to be his own man which he accomplished in countless ways until the very end. To him, it wasn't "my way or the highway," it was "my way is the right way."

The simplest thing I can say about my father is this: He was a force of nature, a storm of a man. In his path, things moved. Nothing stayed still. He was primal, persevering, and on fire with the possibility that something good was just about to happen if only you worked hard enough to make it so.

I became strong because of him-- able to press through challenges... able to be independent... able to find God, my soul mate Dan, and begin to raise my son -- who, one day, will have his own chance to reminisce with us and know how much his Grandpa loved him.

As a young girl, I did not understand my father at all -- why he worked so hard, so late, and so much. It was only later in my life, that I understood. He worked so I might play and have no worry in my life. His work, in a curious way, was a kind of prayer -- a way he connected with something beyond himself, a way he tuned into the meaning of service, of giving to others in an unconditional way -- an experience I would only learn much later in life.

He gave the people in his life an amazing gift just through his actions. He showed you that it was a gift to speak the truth.

He taught you about being a person who kept their word.

Each of us, just by being in his life you experienced what it meant to go beyond the expected and do what was right -- even if it was unpopular or uncomfortable to do so.

I've never met anyone as generous as the man we have come to celebrate today. He gave more to people than people gave to him. If someone needed something chances were that he would give you the shirt off his back.

My father's last days were not easy. Always the man in control, he found it hard to concede to the body's imperfection and the growing need to depend on others for support. Always a giver, now he had to receive. Always the one in charge, now he was in the charge of others. That was hard for him. But in time, he found his way. He was perfectly himself... a warrior... a teacher... a man of integrity... and for that I am forever grateful.

Before he died, he asked me to read a letter I wrote to him at his celebration of life. To honor his memory – I ask you to bear with me as I try to read to you the words I needed my father to hear before he died:

Dad,

I have always been better at writing then speaking…and I know of too many people who have waited to say what their Dad means to them until it’s too late. I don’t want any more time to pass without you knowing “this is exactly how I feel about you.” Dad, this letter is filled with all the things I need you to hear and know from me.

I have to admit, I have always looked at you as being completely indestructible. I mean, I never have imagined that there was something in life that you weren’t able to build, fix, or solve. We do this prayer with our engaged couples that focuses on the hands…and I can’t help but think about it when I visit you. Now I can’t stop looking at your hands…leathery and rough, they remind me of all you have done for everyone…from building homes, to furniture, or some contraption or countless other things I could never understand or hope to understand. Now your hands just sit still, either holding Mum or clutching the arm of a chair. I think about how your hands looked on your wedding day – when you pledged your love and commitment to Mom for all the days of your life. I think of how your hands held Mom when life caused struggle or sadness. By just thinking of your hands…I see your whole lifetime. I see love, trust, faith, and respect – a lifetime of happiness.

I am sad to see your incredibly sharp mind frustrated – staring out the window – knowing your body is too weak to go outside, but your will so strong that you must at least try. I see you sleeping and think of your same mind that when you are feeling well – burst alive with wit, stories, or jokes. I am sad to see on most days lately you have been too weak to speak much.

Now I hope you will be content knowing it’s your mind, your heart, and your hands which have helped to unlock the key to the woman I have become…you’ve inspired me to live a life filled with unique experiences. I want you to know that who you are has shaped who I have become. You are an amazing father.

Your hands taught me that hard work is a privilege to do, and one which should be done on a regular basis, even if the work isn’t for me or my family. Your hands taught me about being a volunteer and helping others – and to do so in such a way that the recipient feels like family.

Your heart taught me about love and to love unconditionally – you know that your example is what allowed me to love after heartache. Your heart taught me it was ok to love again, and brought Dan into my life. From your love and example your heart showed me how to accept my infertility and embraced our decision to adopt. I am so sad and sorry that you won’t be here to see your grandchildren grow. Dan and I want you to know that if we can, we would like to name our boy Peter in honor of you. You are such a loving and generous man we want you legacy to continue in our son.

Your mind taught me how to look at things differently…always from a different perspective. You have inspired me to learn and always try to be more than I am, never to stay stagnant – and you inspired me without using words.

Your example showed me I could have faith in things I cannot see, which is an amazing gift to me. It’s actually your example and encouragement about knowing there is a plan I cannot see that allowed me to accept God in my life. You have allowed me to trust that everything that happens is according to God’s plan and in His time. Dad, you have shown me unfathomable and unwavering love in every aspect of my life—which has become a beacon to me not to lose heart and faith in my darkest times. I hope Dad that in this time, fighting this disease that you won’t lose heart and accept that God’s plan for you includes this struggle for your life. I hope you won’t be afraid of tomorrow; cause God is already there.

While time and cancer have sapped your body of strength and wilted your frame – I still see the immense shoulders that lifted me up so high as a child and showed me the world with completely new eyes. In a way this letter is a small part of me trying to lift you up right now – the way you have always done for me. I often wonder what you think of now, looking back – and I hope that in moments of frustration with this disease that you recognize that it takes a pretty special person to be a great Dad. Throughout the world the Dad’s job is to provide and protect - - YOU ALWAYS did that for all of us. I hope that being a husband and father gave you love, because I want you to know I love you in buckets Dad, always have and always will.

I am grateful to both you and Mom to have filled my entire being with courtesy, respect, faith, and ambition. An although I didn’t understand it at the time, I am really thankful for all the times you said “NO” as much as the times you said “YES.”

I am glad you have Mum. I’ve been watching you guys just battle on together – and the way that you guys fall into each other right now is just beautiful – it’s amazing to watch. You have both something beyond love – something words could never explain. Your marriage has been an example to all of us of what COULD be. I’m so sad that although the two of you have managed to endure life’s little curveballs that this one thing can be a game ender.

I am completely in awe of your creative spirit…it helped shape who I am today. What you struggled to express in words from a father to a daughter, you showed me in ways that expressed things so much better than any words could. You inspired me to say things differently, to live to a higher expectation and through your teaching throughout my life - I want you to KNOW that I heard you clearly and will always keep that in my mind and my heart in my life.

If there is nothing more in time that I get to tell you, then at least you will know these few words…

I love you more than you know, thank you for being my Dad. Every prayer I do, spoken or silent includes a prayer for healing and acceptance for you .

All my Love,

Alana

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